FINDING THE SILVER LINING

My China trip came to a screeching halt after a near psychotic break in my Guangzhou hotel room. In a flash, all the hopes & expectations were dashed. The mission was aborted, something died. A heavy heart overcame me, filled with emptiness & sadness. Then a rush of fragmented thoughts came flying into my head...Oh shit! How am I going to explain this...I can use the biggest typhoon that struck Hong Kong in the last twenty years as an excuse...I can make the infamous Dr. Lam as a scapegoat...or I can take accountability for my action, fess up & say I just wanted to go home. I figure I had a choice of gritting my teeth & toughing it out for three weeks or I could eat a humble pie & swallow my pride. I chose to let go rather than using will & force. So much of happiness in life is about not getting what we want & getting what we don't want. Happiness is the conditioned response to the desired outcome of any given situation. We think we have control over it but that's an illusion. It's like holding sand in your hand, no matter how hard you grip, it'll all fall through the cracks at the end. Why not just take the free & easy route, accept reality as it is. I quote my daughter, " You get what you get & you don't take a fit. " It's simple-minded & yet it cuts to the core of the human dilemma, namely our unwillingness to accept ourselves as well as the events in our lives. We keep ourselves in bondage with our self-judgements & preconceived notions of how life ought to be. By the same token, we inherently have the ability to release the hostage held in captivity & emerge as a self-liberating individual. This is a gift we all possess for ourselves. To say that I am not disappointed would constitute a lie. But with the loss of a shattered dream came something very tender & endearing, the realization of the fragility of life. As one door closes, another opens. Thus is the beauty of the human experience, our ability to take something seemingly tragic & transform it into a blessing. I once heard someone say, " It's not what happens in life, it's what you do with it that counts. " In every hardship, there's always a silver lining, we just have to surrender to it.